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i think it's rather unsettling that when i was at aunt betty's tonight that i found myself being the only one who questioned why everyone's so preoccupied with who's gay & who isn't. like, brian has decided that if a man is straight, he's therefore "official," vs. being gay, which has no real title... anyway. i get the warm fuzzies when i think about how good of a person he is; his giving nature is something i've never before experienced & i am grateful that i even know him. i really don't know what my problem is lately. i come on way too hard. i'm essentially smothering ppl. that is, unless they understand my odd behavior. like, beans understand my attention whore nature. she knows that & accepts that & really doesn't seem to mind it. i wonder if either original crushboy or new crushboy might even begin to grasp the concept that i thrive on attention. i mean, both of them have weblogs, so it'd make sense for them to get that, even if it were just a little understanding, right? ppl with blogs are exhibitionists, for if they weren't, their diaries would be in books, not on websites. i love how i overthink things, too. these dudes are so not checkin for me like that, but here i am obsessing over their feelings for me. whatever. i guess that's a part of the territory when you wear your heart on your sleeve, for all the world to gnaw at.
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