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yo. i am really touched right now, because i found out something that very well could be the most unfortunate thing i've heard in the past week. a young man hanged himself in his dorm room. he was 19 years old. i didn't know him personally, but quite a few friends of mine did. his name was simmon tefara. i haven't learned a whole lot, but apparently he was sad. tormented about something that nobody could help him with. he didn't see a way out. for any reason. not for the kids he might have one day, not for his family or friends, not for the music he could throw together. this boy -- becoming a man -- was lost. i shake my head @ this one. cuz he was loved so much by all of his friends. i wonder what his family is feeling. did they contribute to his feelings? was it part of the drama of being a college student? was it self-image? i'm not justifying suicide. i can't. because there's nothing more selfish & hurtful to the ppl you love than suicide. but even they don't matter sometimes. i remember when zay was goin through this shit, he said he didn't want to burden me. burdens. simmon, is that what this is about? not being able to carry it all? yo, you're never alone, simmon. your friends love you. they do. i know this for a fact. don't you see them posting on okayplayer about you? they love you. & they wish they could have helped. i bet you didn't know that, kiddo. your friends would do anything to help you if they could. but i guess you didn't know that they could. i hope you have found peace. i want your soul to rest. i really do. that level of despair is unknown to so many ppl. but ppl who understand... it's unspeakable. i dunno where i'm goin with this. simmon was a baby. that's gotta be what fucked it up the most for me. i'm praying for understanding, patience, & fortitude right now. because the world is a hard place to be. you get impatient for it to get better, but whatdo you actually do about it? do you know why it is how it is? do you have the strength to change it? rest his soul, lord. take him into your kingdom.
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