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i feel very much like i'm missing someone. like, there's someone i don't know yet, but i miss him or her. or maybe i'm taking for granted those people with whom i rarely speak, while those same people are rather excellent. i am wholly unafraid of quitting work. it's done. i needed to get the fuck outta there a long time ago. dave and i were talking about shyness, and i realized that i don't expect ppl to like me. i almost don't want them to, i think -- that way i can't blame my shyness on not knowing anyone. it's difficult to understand if you've never been through that stage. you know,the ohmygodilooklikeacompletefoolinthisoutfitwhyohwhyohWHYdidiputiton self loathing thing? yeah. a pain in the ass. it distracts you from talking to people, which is especially bad. maybe i'm making it all up cuz i meet so many excellent, perfect people who like me. lil old weirdo me.
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